Wednesday, January 28, 2009


What a winter-when it's not below zero and freezing pipes, it's dropping a foot of snow on us! This last storm is supposed to leave 8-15 inches of snow by the time it moves out overnight. The saplings say we have about a foot out there now.

I just read that this monster storm has left a million people without power. Kentucky alone had 350,000 out. I predict this is just the status quo with climate change-and it could get worse.

I have been waiting for Exxon Mobil's fourth quarter earning reports to hit the net. I noted that last year they were released Feb 1, so a couple more days. I predict even larger profits for this quarter. Oil prices are down to less than 40dollars a barrel, but gasoline prices should be running about 1.25 a gallon at those figures, and it is 1.86 here at the local stations. That means .60 a gallon higher on the refinery end-so don't be fooled, the oil giants are not losing money at $38 a barrel.

Regarding the banking bailout, the feds are blacking out contract info as to what banks received deals. Not only has money been given to the banks outright with no accountability, but over a trillion dollars has been lent out at special rates. The rich get richer while the poor get laid off, kicked out, and sit shivering in the dark.

On a personal note, I was on two feet today! The goats were having fencing issues, and while the saplings have been stellar with the goat care chores, fencing falls to me. I was pleased to see how clean the goat houses were while I was out there fixing the electric fence, and disconnecting some lower lines in preparation for tonight's storm. That was before I knew we might get over a foot of snow. So I might have the Firebird strap on the snowshoes tomorrow and run the fenceline for me.

I tried like hell to get a boot on my burnt foot today. Even the giant moon boots were a no-go. Finally I grabbed a pair of sneakers and I couldn't believe I could get one on over the bandages. I put a boot on the good foot.

I went into the pens on crutches, and Moonie and Obiwan were scared to death of me! Kind old Caesar greeted me at his fenceline with a grin. Julius was a little nervous until I spoke to him, then buried his face in the hay and managed to step on my toes while I was working. Nic was oblivious as long as hay was in front of him. Derek and his Mom Daphne took a break from their hay and let me pet them.

I ended up having to go off-trail to disconnect part of the fence, and my toes were FROZEN by the time I made it back to the house! I guess the circulation isn't too great on the toes on the burnt foot. Plus, sneakers are not too warm!

Now I am worried with all this snow I will have to get on the goat house roof and shovel it off. I really don't want to get up there!

My foot looked a little irritated when I changed the bandages this afternoon, and it was bothering me tonight, so I tried to keep off of it tonight and went back to the crutches. The itching has started on the ankle and toes-I will be in agony when the rest starts to heal more. That's still too tender to be itching.

My house is a disaster! I haven't had the heart to ask the kids for much more than fetching and carrying with all the extra outdoor chores. I am hoping to vaccuum tomorrow and get to the enormous pile of dishes. I don't want the place a hovel on my birthday!

Hopefully by tomorrow my aversion to hot water will be wearing off.... :D

Many red devils ran from my heart

Many red devils ran from my heart
And out upon the page,
They were so tiny
The pen could mash them.
And many struggled in the ink.
It was strange
To write in this red muck
Of things from my heart.

Stephen Crane

Monday, January 26, 2009

Live Long and Prosper

That is what my sister wrote on the back of this cool birthday she sent me in the mail today. LOL!!!

I had told her about the Big Bang Theory's Christmas episode and how funny I thought it was, and she agreed. You see, we were Trekkies. We used to watch Star Trek re-runs everynight at suppertime. In fact, we even once wrote a script and acted it out for our mother in the living room.

I was Kirk and Bones-she was Spock (we fought over that role-she won) and Chekov. Maybe she gave me Sulu as a Spock consolation. The big armchair was pulled out and utilized as the Captain's chair-and that's all I recall.

We also went to a Star Trek convention! We got to meet James Doohan (Scotty, RIP) and Chekov(whose real name escapes me). My favorite part was the blooper reels. Needless to say, I get a real laugh out of Galaxy Quest, the movie.

My sister also included a small check, which I plan on using to buy a new coffeepot since mine died a few days ago. I'm easy to please for my birthday, aren't I? LOL. I do like roses and chocolates, though....hehehe. :D

I went to the clinic today, and I decided to blow off all my grievances and say nothing. The nurse and PA were very pleased with my healing!!! Yah! And we used my own burn cream which I had brought with me. The nurse claimed theirs had not come in yet-which I let slide.

I was given another appointment in a week, another bottle of saline, and a huge stock of bandages. Yeah, I am glad I went!

So, my birthday week is off to a pretty good start! I try to celebrate birthdays for two weeks-one before and one afterwards. After all, another year, right!? Woo-hoo!

I am a little late in starting the pre-week celebration, but I am happy to start now! :D

Live long and prosper!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tree down Update

First, I want to thank everyone that has been sending me positive energy and healing thoughts! I think it is doing the trick!

I had canceled my Thursday appointment with the clinic because I was mad about the contaminated burn cream they used, and the script that would have overdosed me on Tylenol. I had them fax in a script for more burn cream, and got more bandages, and have been attending to it myself.

Then Friday I rescheduled another appointment for tomorrow. That was before I changed the bandages. I was very perturbed that afternoon! I didn't like the looks of it a bit. Then I requested an online Reiki healing and gave myself some Reiki and things looked better yesterday! I trimmed some of the skin back-a job which really makes me feel queasy but not painful as the skin is dead.

I did the same tonight, as I am concerned that those pockets could trap bacteria. Things are starting to look shiny and pink so I think that is a good sign! I will know better tomorrow after the nurse looks at it.

The pain has been much better over the last two days, as well. I cut way back on the painkillers, and didn't take one until 4 this afternoon, before I was to change the bandages. The foot felt so much better that I was actually able to stand on both feet and hobble a bit while changing the litterbox. (life must go on, LOL)

I am happy about that, because this morning my hands felt bruised from the crutches, and my armpits are getting tender, as well. I have been using a technique to carry somethings with crutches-by pinching the crutch under the arm and twisting my body, I can carry something in one hand and still keep that crutch in place. But it does make my armpit sore!

I don't think I will be dancing on my birthday, but I feel a lot better about how things are going. Hopefully over the hump! A saying my mother used to say has been ringing in my ears lately..."it's going to get worse before it gets better." I am praying the worse was the awful four day photo I posted mid-week.

Yeah, I was pretty stoned on morphine to subject my blog reader to that one!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Come With Me, I Said, And No One Knew (VII)

Come with me, I said, and no one knew
where, or how my pain throbbed,
no carnations or barcaroles for me,
only a wound that love had opened.

I said it again: Come with me, as if I were dying,
and no one saw the moon that bled in my mouth
or the blood that rose into the silence.
O Love, now we can forget the star that has such thorns!

That is why when I heard your voice repeat
Come with me, it was as if you had let loose
the grief, the love, the fury of a cork-trapped wine

the geysers flooding from deep in its vault:
in my mouth I felt the taste of fire again,
of blood and carnations, of rock and scald.

Pablo Neruda

Thursday, January 22, 2009

In A Dark Time

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree,
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall,
That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.

A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!
A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.

Dark,dark my light, and darker my desire.
My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen woman, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

Theodore Roethke

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

WARNING: Burn Photo


Yeah, that looks a lot worse than the second day photo.

I got the script filled for the vicodene, and according to the prescribed dosage, I would be ingesting between 6,000 and 9,000 mg of acetominophen-when 4,000 is the maximum daily prescribed dose for healthy adults. Freak out? Yes, I did. I finally go through to the docs, and they agreed to give me another script for percoset, but said I would have to pick up the slip. So, as dark was looming, I hobbled my way to the car and drove the hour roundtrip to get the slip.

I will have to go into town tomorrow morning to have it filled. And they gave me just enough to last until my appointment Thursday. Yet they gave me 60 vicodene. WTH? I mean, they can look at my file and see that I rarely take any painkillers, even with my history of broken bones, blown vertebral discs, and pinched nerve. Morons!! I would say by this photo that if anything deserves a script of oxycodone, this would be it. Morphine is the drug of choice with severe burns, and I would guess this qualifies.

Cool, we watched the inauguration. Biden was even president for five minutes since Bush was through at noon and Obama didn't get sworn in until 12:05. Roberts flubbed the wording-Barack gave a great acceptance speech. Bush flew away to cheers.

Katie Couric said, "oh, the crowd is cheering Bush as he leaves."

Another commenter said, "they might be cheering because he is leaving..."

Yeah, they should have tossed some shoes in the air in celebration. :P


Thanks Velvet Ginger, Tonia, Woodmouse, Warren for your comments and concern!!

I did make it to the clinic yesterday. I didn't have to wait too long. I set myself up in the waiting room with my foot elevated on an extra chair, pulled out a junk paperback I have been picking away at, and was called out back by the nurse.

My new-to-me PA had the day off, so I was scheduled to see the new-to-the-clinic PA. The nurse took my blood pressure, but I had to remind her to check my temp as I am concerned about infection. Temp was normal. Upper BP was still a little high for me.

Then I cut off my makeshift bandage for her, and peeled the pads off. I was shocked to see the area covered in blood. She assured me that it looked normal and very clean. Then the PA came in and checked feeling in the foot, and I asked her for a refill on the painkillers. She said she was going to step me down to vicodene. Last night I started freaking out about that, because the oxycodone is barely doing the job. I have to redose every three hours minimum just to be able to get up on crutches.

As soon as that leg goes down, it feels like I am sticking it in a pot of boiling water. It is agony!!! The current painkillers at least enable me to hobble around on crutches. I am scared the vicodene won't be strong enough-plus they are 750 mg of acetominophen (the oxy's are 300), and acetominophen upsets my stomach. So I won't be able to double up on the vicodene without od'ing on acetominophen.

Anyhow, the nurse then redressed the wound-the same way the last nurse did, with a few non- stick pads and two rolls of gauze, leaving the toes exposed. I reached over and grabbed some paper towels, draped them over the toes, and then pulled the stockinette over them. She gave me more supplies-again only four pads, but six rolls of gauze. When I got home I layered the toilet paper over the whole thing and put the stocking on to hold it.

The nurse suggested I could leave the dressing until she sees me again on Thursday-but I don't know how I could have left it as she wrapped for even a day, with all the wound weeping. GROSS!!! So I will change it again today with fresh dressing.

She did rinse it with some sterile saline and blotted it dry as I did the day before at home, except with water. And she gave me the rest of the saline to use. I cannot believe the ER directed me to use soap and water!!!! Which I could not bring myself to do-are they nuts????

The other disturbing thing was when she brought in the jar of silvadene. I had the impression that it was already opened, although she did give me the rest of the jar. I know if the previous user had been extremely careful and used fresh sticks to dip into the jar each time, it should still be mostly sterile, but given the way I have seen others be so cavalier about sterility, I have my doubts. You think double-dipping food sauces is gross-just think about double-dipping a jar of burn cream from patient to patient!

I did find out that it will be at least A MONTH before I can get a shoe on again. But, at least they were very encouraging about how things looks right now, so hopefully I will heal eventually.

And today is inaugeration day-I am still trying to keep up on world news. Hopefully the US is headed in a better direction.

Peace, Tree

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Thank you Tonia and Woodmouse for your well wishes and advice-and Warren yesterday.

I was not too pleased with how things looked today when I finally re-wrapped the foot. I should probably be bed ridden and keep it elevated. From the ankle to almost the toes there is no skin. Giant blisters across the foot near the toes. The toes aren't blistered but they are dark and puffy. More skin has slipped around the base of the big toe. The bottom of the foot is fine.

A dozen years ago I spent everyday for three weeks visiting a friend in the largest burn unit in Maine. He ended up needing skin grafts, and I think my foot looks worse than his arm did. I hope I am wrong. I also had burns at that time-some blisters and a few spots of third degree, which healed fine. This is just such a large area on the foot it scares me.

I did NOT have enough tefla pads to cover the area (such a nice nurse) and had to sub a feminine pad for under the ankle. I was also given what we call Silvadene cream-it is silver/sulfa, great for burns and soothing as well as antimicrobial. I have to spread it on the pad since the wound won't hold it.

I am on oxycodone. Woah. I ended up being very rushed out last night trying to get some ginger ale at 3 am. I broke out in a total sweat and felt very ill and woozy. I sat in the kitchen with my head between my knees until I was able to gulp some ginger ale. Then I finally made it to the couch where I passed out for an hour or so and was finally strong enough to crawl upstairs.

I have only taken two today. They work great taking the pain away but the side effects are a bit overwhelming. Like I said, I should probably be in bed.

I am supposed to go to my doc's tomorrow, but it may be closed for MLK day. I am really going to have to adlib on the dressing since I am now out of tefla pads and down to one gauze roll. I still have some cream.

We are having a big snowstorm today and I couldn't get out on crutches, so the kids did all the chores without me. I tried not to watch out the window today. So far so good, knock on wood. I really hate being incapacitated!!!!! :((

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Treedown update

Thank you Warren and Woodmouse for your well wishes!

I was really sorry I went back to the hospital today. Last night I was aggravated that I had to go through two sets of computers and triage before being seen. In fact, I started bawling in pain and fear during the triage (bp, temps, saturated O2, more questions...) I was kicking myself in the arse that I hadn't taken the ambulance, since then I would have been whisked straight in.

I didn't take the ambulance because the last time I called one 10 years ago, every first responder in a three town area (firemen, paramedics, etc) showed up and was touring my house while I lay on the floor with back spasms.

Last night the doc did an excellent job debriding the wound, and the nurse knew how to bandage a burn. Today I had to see three different computers all with the same questions-so that was six times in twelve hours and had to say I had no allergies, and confirm my phone number, insurance, etc.

The Physician's assistant who finally saw me just poked me and left me in the hands of a green nurse(as in 2 years out of school, tops) . Neither of them tried to clean the site. Her idea of bandaging was to contaminate the pads with bare hands. Then she put gloves on to slap three small pads on before taking the gloves off to too-tightly wrap the foot with a gauze roll-after putting her finger in the corner of her eye while in process. She left my bare burned toes exposed and said, there you go....

I demanded a stockinette as it is still single digits out there. When I got home I took off the stockinette and went over the whole thing with a roll of toilet paper and then put the stocking back on. I had to do that because despite all the bandages and handfuls of gauze the nurse used last night, the wound had started to seep through them all within 12 hours.

I am instructed to wash and re-dress the foot tomorrow myself-and she provided me with three more pads and a gauze roll for the dressing. Then I am supposed to go to my regular doc on Monday.

Luckily I had just finished stocking up on everything including hay and groceries, so we are set for supplies. The Firebird has leapt to the challenge and is doing all the chores under my direction.

Another lucky thing for me is that I had a few weeks experience on crutches when much younger, so I can manoever fairly well. Carrying anything is a strain, though, as I have to use one crutch so the other hand is free to carry. Then I have to hop. Try that with the morning coffee!!!

The pain pills are really good and effective. Good thing, as I mentioned earlier I was bawling in the ER last night, and I tolerate pain very well, usually.

I did take a photo of the foot in the ER today, but I just cannot bear to make my reader sick. Thanks for listening!


I had a terrible accident last night and dropped a kettle of boiling water on my foot. Took the skin right off. Very disgusting.

The hospital story I would like to write, but I am too messed up on pain pills at the moment. Doc cut off the hanging skin; handsome male nurse plastered on the Silvadene and gave me an awesome bandage job. I left with 5 painkillers, crutches, and directions to return today to check for signs of infection.

I feel like I am going puke. Sweet. Say a prayer for me.


Friday, January 16, 2009

Miracle on the Hudson

Well, this story may be redundant to any reader that watches or reads news, but there was an incredible event that happened yesterday afternoon in New York.

Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III was piloting a commericial jetliner for US airways with over 150 passengers on board when his plane had a "double bird strike" shortly after takeoff from New York's LaGuardia airport.

With the loss of both engines, he made a split second decision to put the plane down in the Hudson River. The most recent reports are that he had been offerred to return to LaGuardia-an earlier report stated that request had been denied and he had been routed to New Jersey. In any case, he quickly realized that he would be unable to make the New Jersy terminal, (in a residential neighborhood), and chose to put the plane down in the Hudson River.

Miraculously, all the passengers and crew escaped alive. Photos on the news showed the plane half-sunk in the river, with folks standing ankle deep in water on the wing. It looked as if they were standing on the water.

The water was 36 F and the air temps were 20F. Commuter ferries and coast guard vessels along with other emergency vessels rushed to their aid, pulling everyone to safety. The plane drifted 4 miles in the current before everyone was saved.

I had a lot of thoughts on the subject. One was, when I have flown and the attendents are covering the emergency procedures at the beginning of the flight, I have always chuckled inside at the directions for a water landing. Because I always thought that in the case of a water landing, you wouldn't need those life vests and rafts because the plane would break up and you would pretty well die instantly. Guess I was wrong about that one.

The other thought was about the plane that crashed in the Potomac river, as an example. 5 people survived that one. It was mostly body recovery. Turns out that crash was 27 years ago almost to the day.

Jee-maniny. What a story!

I was moved to tears this am when I read that one passenger had just enough time to text her husband, "my plane is crashing." Hubby spent a frantic 30 minutes trying to find out her fate.

Well, I suppose the new most popular boy name will be "Chesley", or "Sully".

Thank you, Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III, for a miraculously talented landing in an emergency. I am sure you would also thank your co-pilot, Jeff Skiles and crew-as I am sure many folks are thanking all of you right now!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Vane's Story.

And filled and overfilled me soon

With light and music, with the swoon

Of too much rapture and amaze,

A murmurous hush, a luminous haze.

How long in this sweet swoon I lay,

What hours or years, I cannot say ;

Vast arcs of the celestial sphere

Subtend such little angles here.

But after the ineffable,

This first I can remember well :

A Rose of Heaven, so dewy- sweet

Its fragrance was a soul complete,

Came, touched my brow, caressed my lips.

And then my eyes in their eclipse ;

And still I stirred not, though there came

A wine of fire through all my frame,

An ecstasy of joy and love,

A vision of the throne above,

A myriad-voiced triumphant psalm

Upswelling through a splendour calm ;

Then suddenly, as if a door

Were shut, veiled silence as before.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Black Kitty


Remember the cat that was stuck under the house when we had that foot and a half of snow? Well, he's still coming around.

I think he might be feral. He is very skittish and after weeks of putting a bowl of food out for him every night, he is just now pausing before fleeing when we open the door after showing him the food through the window.

We call him Black Kitty. He is gorgeous, although the pic does not do him justice. I took it through the window with just the porch light for lighting.

He might belong to one of the neighbors. One of these days I will make the rounds and ask them, and give them our new number, which I just changed last week. Since he is just hanging around outside I don't mind putting a little extra food out for him. :D

We'll see what happens in the next few nights-he has been lingering by the door, and the temps are supposed to be below zero the next several nights, with daytime highs in the single digits. Frigid temps and a warm house usually bring around even the most scared animals.

Oh yeah, I started the car this afternoon. ;)

Tonia, over on my blog list at , put some wicked great bald eagle shots on her blog today. Check it out.

Tonia, I have been having trouble commenting when I am logged into Firefox. Next time I am on IE I will drop a comment. :D

Velvet Ginger, there are at least four grey squirrels that all look very similar, so naming will be a challenge. However, I was dragged out of sleeping in late this am by a fussing squirrel. I got out of my warm, sweet bed and looked outside, and there she was, fussing and flicking and staring in my window. I figured black kitty must have been around.

I did take the opportunity to ask its name for you, and the reply was, "Hurrrrr."

She must be the matriarch squirrel. :D

Monday, January 12, 2009

Turkey talk

Although the day did have its drawbacks. I remembered I had taken a few pics of the highpoints.

Willow begged me to check out this grey squirrel staring in the window-by the time I got the cam out, it was in retreat.

On the way home from all the running around (see previous post), we saw a flock of wild turkeys in front of someone's mobile home.

I took a couple of pics, and we started to go, but then I noticed one was heading towards...

the rest of the flock. One is even up in the red tipped tree on the right. While we watched, a second flew up into the tree. There must have been some berries there.

Again we tried to leave the turkey flock, now numbering in the thirties. Then we saw these gals on the other side of the road.

That was a lot of turkey!

Mercury Retrograde and other Ramblings

Yeah, Mercury is retrograde as of yesterday.

My favorite late astrologer at a local rock station, Darryl Martini, used to open every astrological forecast with a saying, "It is a wise person who rules the stars, a Fool who is ruled by them."

Never-the less, Mercury is currently appearing to move backwards from our view here on earth, and it is known as "Mercury Retrograde." Happens about three times a year and lasts for about three weeks.

I have had hard-core non-believer friends call me up and asks me, "Is Mercury retrograde?!?!"

NEVER sign contracts or begin major projects when Mercury is retrograde. Expect delays and mechanical breakdowns. Communications go haywire. If possible, take a vacation and definitely back up everything.

Mercury is currently retrograde in Aquarius, my sun sign, and I have been particularly affected.
Yesterday the car wouldn't start. Of course I didn't take my own advice and didn't start it on Saturday. Yesterday the battery was totally dead, except for a dim glow from an overhead map light that had been mysteriously turned on since Friday. Oh yeah.

No worries-we were having a snowstorm, unexpected, that totalled about 6 inches and required the driveway to be plowed out. I would just have my plow guy jump start the car. Of course he showed up way later than expected, near dark, and I was in the middle of major dish detail. Ha. He didn't have his cables with him, so I opened up a pack of emergency cables that were a joke. They wouldn't jump the car.

That is the abbreviated version. The full version is that they were also really short and he couldn't quite reach with the plow on the front, so he kept climbing over snow banks to open the hood. Finally I noticed my car was on a hill, so I threw it in neutral and with one leg out the door pushing against the snow, and one hand on the wheel, shoved it down where he could reach it. We then tried for twenty minutes to jump the car with those crappy cables. In ten degree temps.

No worries, I had already checked with a friend to borrow a battery charger-which he said he could bring over this am. My sweet plow guy also offered to come back today with better cables and his charger if I got in a jam.

By the time I got around to pumping goat water this am, I discovered I had a frozen waterline. I have heat tape on it, but I check it every year to make sure rodents haven't shorted it out. Last year I didn't even need it. So, this morning I was trying to make pancakes and climb down in the hole to check the tape. I have a trap door in the kitchen.

Well, spiders from hell have decided that would make a nice home. And although it was cold enough to freeze the waterline, they were certainly lively enough. Yeah, I came out of that hole pretty quick when the spiders started scurrying. I am not normally afraid of spiders, but recently I have had a couple of bad bites and these suckers looked evil. Big and black with bloated bodies. Probably didn't help that we watched Return of the King last night with the scene with Shelob the giant spider. Eek.

Well, the heat tape didn't blow up, and my friend finally showed with the charger and the car fired right up. Water line thawed successfully. I was late getting out, but I made the PO, grain dealer, bank, grocery store, dump, and hay run.

Now I just have to sort a pile of laundry and get that done tomorrow (the laundry soap is thawing by the woodstove after being discovered frozen solid in the back of the car while searching for cables.)before the next winter storm hits tomorrow night.

Oh yeah, winter in Maine with mercury retrograde.

I need a vacation. :D

Sunday, January 11, 2009

War Poems

War Profit
To Ezra Pound
These are the names of the companies that have made
money from this war
nineteenhundredsixtyeight Annodomini fourthousand
eighty Hebraic
These are the Corporations who have profited by merchan-
dising skinburning phosphorous or shells fragmented
to thousands of fleshpiercing needles
and here listed money millions gained by each combine for
and here are gains numbered, index'd swelling a decade, set
in order,
here named the Fathers in office in these industries, tele-
phones directing finance,
names of directors, makers of fates, and the names of the
stockholders of these destined Aggregates,
and here are the names of their ambassadors to the Capital,
representatives to legislature, those who sit drinking
in hotel lobbies to persuade,
and separate listed, those who drop Amphetamine with
military, gossip, argue, and persuade
suggesting policy naming language proposing strategy, this
done for fee as ambassadors to Pentagon, consul-
tants to military, paid by their industry:
and these are the names of the generals & captains mili-
tary, who know thus work for war goods manufactur-
and above these, listed, the names of the banks, combines,
investment trusts that control these industries:
and these are the names of the newspapers owned by these
and these are the names of the airstations owned by these
and these are the numbers of thousands of citizens em-
ployed by these businesses named;
and the beginning of this accounting is 1958 and the end
1968, that static be contained in orderly mind,
coherent and definite,
and the first form of this litany begun first day December
1967 furthers this poem of these States.
December 1, 1967
Allen Ginsberg

The Dictators
An odor has remained among the sugarcane:
a mixture of blood and body, a penetrating
petal that brings nausea.
Between the coconut palms the graves are full
of ruined bones, of speechless death-rattles.
The delicate dictator is talking
with top hats, gold braid, and collars.
The tiny palace gleams like a watch
and the rapid laughs with gloves on
cross the corridors at times
and join the dead voices
and the blue mouths freshly buried.
The weeping cannot be seen, like a plant
whose seeds fall endlessly on the earth,
whose large blind leaves grow even without light.
Hatred has grown scale on scale,
blow on blow, in the ghastly water of the swamp,
with a snout full of ooze and silence

Pablo Neruda

Friday, January 9, 2009

Happy Birthday to my Late Mother, Women's Health, and Oh, What a morning!

Happy Birthday to my late Mother!! She is on the left, third back, beautiful brunette. Handsome Dad is on the right in the front. I have no clue who the other folks are, or what they are celebrating. I would guess this photo is from the mid to late 50's.

I had my first mammogram today, and it was a piece of cake. To my woman reader, please don't put off a mammogram because you are afraid. The only discomfort I felt was under the breast where my rib pressed against the shelf. The tech was delightful, so pleasant. She showed me each pic as it came up on the computer-and I had to say that my breasts looked very lovely in x-ray. LOL.

The pelvic sonogram was first, and a woman needs a full bladder for that one. The test is performed externally, with lubricant on the lower abdomen and a sort of microphone applied to the lower pelvis. Right on the bladder. Yeah, mine was FULL ouch!!!!! The tech was stone faced throughout and not very pleasant. The highlight of that was I had a chance to see some pix of fetuses in 3D sonogram ( a recent technological development) afterwards. One had its tongue sticking out. So cute!

I was worried those tests were to be scheduled for MY birthday at the end of the month-how ironic they fell on my mother's birthday. Here's to all women out there! *group hug*

My morning started out rather emotional in memory of my mother. Then I checked my e-mail and found a request from my sis to sign my recently passed brother-in-law's guest book online obituary. As I sat there trying to think what to say to him in farewell, I started sobbing.

A gentle reminder to cherish all our loved ones while they are here with us.

While I was completing my internet obligations, Peko started barking. I jumped up and thought I heard a strange noise coming from out front. Unable to identify it, I shrugged it off. About 15 minutes later I was in the kitchen and heard a goat bellow out back. I looked out and saw all the goats but one clustered in a group looking very alarmed. I KNEW what was up-I grabbed a pair of scissors and flew out the door. (there I go running with scissors again!)

Sure enough, I found Jenny strangling in one of the tarps I hung a couple weeks ago. Her entire upper body was caught with the tarp twisted tightly over her head and neck. She was lying on the snow. Quickly I put the scissors into action, freeing her front leg that was caught, and then along her face to free her mouth as she was having trouble breathing. Then she got to her feet and I yanked the tarp off her horns, and she was shivering, but free and uninjured. My heart was racing!!!!

Phew! I went back in to re-group and fix breakfast. We were under the gun to get the chores done so I could head out for the hospital tests. Next thing I know, an old friend who hasn't been by in months was sticking his head in the door! I knew he must need a sympathetic ear so I sent the saplings out to start chores without me while I visited as long as I could before I had to leave.

I have never done the goat chores so fast! Ten minute record! Then I scraped the ice and snow off the car, changed my clothes, and left for my appointments. I walked into x-ray at 11 am on the dot, and cruised right through both tests with no waiting. The hospital was very efficient-I was quite impressed! I was even home for lunch!

Now I think I will just hide for the rest of the day! And maybe make a cake for us to share with my mother's spirit. I want chocolate, but for some reason I keep sensing, "vanilla".

She and I could never agree on anything!

Tonia and VG, thanks for your comments on "Feel"!

Tonia, I love your fire pix! Let's just hope we don't melt our cams taking them! hehe.

VG, it is coals in the woodstove!!! It reminded me of a lava mountain, too!!!

I have been wanting to take a pic of a red hot coal on my palm for "Feel". The saplings are always amazed when I can pick up a hot coal that spills out and toss it back in. But, the trick is the timing! I could not get the coal in my palm and pick up the cam before I had to toss the coal back!!! If I had a tripod and used the timer I might have managed it. I just had to settle for a pic of the coals.

I spend a lot of time in front of that stove in the winter around here! hehehehe.

Thursday, January 8, 2009



Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I Will Be Here

If in the morning when you wake,
If the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
I will be here.
I will be here,
When you feel like being quiet,
When you need to speak your mind I will listen.
Through the winning, losing, and trying we'll be together,
And I will be here.
If in the morning when you wake,
If the future is unclear,
I will be here.
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years,
I will be here.
Steven Curtis Chapman